The Importance of Being Happy, Self Worth and a 'Can Do' Attitude

There are some really important aspects to life which can help us on our way to having a more positive outlook and attitude.  This means generally life can become smoother and a less stressful ride.  Not a less bumpy ride, mind you, because there are always aspects to life we cannot control, but our reaction and attitude to problems and situations that occur along the way can greatly improve the quality of our life, and influence our decisions for the best.

In this blog post, I'm going to focus on our mindset and our thought processes regarding happiness and having a positive outlook on life, including how to make your brain stronger. 

Firstly, I find that having a 'can do' attitude is key.  Just remember that you can handle this (whatever it is you are facing), and you are able to conquer any barrier.  When that little voice in your head tells you you cannot, tell it, “I CAN do this” and repeat this to yourself ten times; you need the mental strength to stay committed to whatever it is is going on in your life, (whether it be a new healthy lifestyle, a weight loss goal, or any situation).  

Where your head is right now will determine your success rate on the way to losing weight and having a healthy body and mind. Our brains are a muscle, where the more you flex and use it, the more it will grow, and the more you will be able to take control of elements in your life; having control over your mind will unlock the way to anything you want to achieve in life; socially, physically and emotionally.  You need to realise that the key to achieving anything in life; not just weight loss; is with your mind.  Your mindset can and does considerably influence your health and your body size.

Here is a vlog I have filmed of this blog article:-

Secondly, it is important to feel happy; I'm not referring to the illusion of happiness, but really actually being happy; where at the core of yourself, you feel content and satisfied with life.  What I mean is when you wake up in the morning with purpose and go to bed feeling fulfilled, knowing that your days are not wasted, but you have been enriched by another day of experiences of this life on earth, growing as a person, with no destructive behaviour, feeling successful, being passionate, enjoying and doing the things you love doing.  

Make a list of the 20 top things that make you happy. Mine including cooking new recipes for my family to try, having a lie in, having a hot bath, drinking smoothies, having fun outings with my step-son, having my nails done and chatting with my manicurist about general life observations, watching films in front of the open fire, running on the treadmill listening to my favourite pop music, idly watching amateur videos on youtube, amongst many others.

I have laminated my list and have it on my bedside table:-

I try my hardest to incorporate at least one item from it everyday. Try and do the same. This will reiterate in your mind that your own needs require seeing-to and that you are important and require self-care. This will in turn help you to feel more optimistic and content in life, giving you that extra boost to reach your life goals.

The key to all of this is to place importance on how you spend your time.  Be careful not to spend your time worrying.  Do you remember/know what Jesus said about worry? That it is completely useless: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Matthew 6:25-34).

To help us to understand this further, we must be aware that we cannot control so many factors in our life; including people’s perception of us and other peoples' opinions of us. They do not matter.  We need to find our own identities and be satisfied and happy and accepting of who we are.  

Some people have commented indirectly that my upper arms are flabby and that they need toning up.  However, this has no relevance or importance to me; I have decided that I don’t care; I’m happy in my life with my husband and we are happy with who we are.  It’s so important not to spend hours wallowing in self-pity and sadness.  We all need to see our own individuality and be confident. We must not try and fit a mould that we think society requires us to fit into, because that mould is in our heads and it is probably not in other people’s heads.  

We need to view this life as precious and a gift that we need not to take for granted, but see all our potential and all that we can achieve. There’s so much to explore and experience and visit in this world, that time is running out and we need to enjoy it. We need to get perspective on life and understand what does and does not matter, and that we are making the most of this life and getting the best out of it, instead of dwelling on negative and destructive emotions.  Do what makes you happy.  If that is exercising, if that is walking, if that is painting flowers, if that is listening to music, if that is writing, if that is photography, if that is cooking, if that is building models, if that is collecting stamps, if that is playing music, then you need to do it! Don’t waste your time doing things that don’t nourish your soul or further yourself.  Don’t waste this life, make healthy changes, don’t get bogged down by useless things.

The Beautiful Castelo do Bode Lake in Portugal

If you are (or indeed, become) a ‘happy’ person with a more optimistic approach to life, this positive energy will naturally attract friends, colleagues, and people to you. With this comes more opportunities and positive experiences that will come your way, turning your life into a more fun and cheerful journey all round.  You need to choose to be happy today, give your own self the time of day and allow yourself to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.  This is making sure you meet your own needs and that you take care of yourself and that you give yourself the time of day. 

We need to make sure that we understand that we belong in this world and that we are worthy.  This is important because if you do not do this or take the time out for yourself, frustration, anger and resentment can build up.  This can in turn become a subconscious reason for overeating or binge eating; to get that warm fuzzy feeling inside our bellies. It’s a deceptive way of finding the fulfilment our souls so desperately crave.

Get yourself a notebook – not just a piece of paper, but something more permanent than that.  Write on a page a list of all of your positive attributes; your skills, your traits, your qualities, your personality type, as well as what you like about yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually. Any negative elements that may spring to mind, just ignore for the time being; no one is perfect and we all have negative parts to our personalities, but we all also have positive elements to bring to the plate.  After you have finished, sit back and reflect on what you have written, and be pleased with what you see.

Fear is a choice. You can either opt to be afraid or to be unafraid and strong. Surrendering to our fears is the easy way-out; we don’t need to do anything; just allow ourselves to be consumed by them and they will overwhelm us. Making the choice to be unafraid and therefore strong is harder and requires more effort on our own part. You can face your fear and stand up to it and refuse to allow it to overwhelm us.

As for me, I am finally completely comfortable around food and with my body.  I am even totally happy with my height. At 5ft 1, some may deem me slightly on the short side, whereas I would not even add an inch to my height.  I am happy with my wrists, my ankles, my arms, legs, stomach, chest and behind.  I can honestly say there is nothing I would change about myself.  My self-confidence has vastly improved. I feel like I am living life to the full; I am unisolated and popular.

In conclusion, by doing this blog and sharing my life story and experiences, I have felt like I am a more valuable being; that I am able to help and encourage others with any insecurities they may have.  I have embraced my past insecurities and issues; I continue to learn from them, teaching others through them, and thus find my past experiences life-enriching in the present. 

I feel empowered because I have taken my right to determine myself now for who I am. That is an experience that is personal to me and my life, which no one can ever deny me it.  My past experiences, including my sane and insane moments, have made me who I am today, and I could not have written anything in this blog without them.  I have learnt to listen to myself and my inner voice; to hear my feelings, rather than try and conform to what I believe is the norm and is expected of me.

Try and own your past, own your problems and own your issues in life.  View your past experiences; whether good or bad; as having been a positive experience as it is your own experience and it is totally unique and individual to you.

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